Ironic Copy Paste

Saat tiada lagi waktu untuk kita berjalan seiring,
Saat tiada lagi waktu buat kita berkongsi cerita girang,
Cukup saja aku rapatkan jari jemariku, menangkupkannya,
lalu  mendoakan dirimu,
Dengan cara itu aku memohon,

Memohon agar Dia selalu menjagamu.





Ya Allah, kau tahu apa adanya. Jagakan dia.

Chess piece

Alice keeps wondering when this would stop.

When she'll be free from the haunts of his flaws. 

She focused on the good times, of course. 

Or at least she tried. The disappointment was too much that it brings about a mixture of anguish and sadness at the same time. 

Once, she asked him why didn't he move on. 

He said "I don't want to take the trouble of having to get to know another girl. It's troublesome" 

That struck one. 

Another time, she asked "Why didn't come you looking for me?" 

He said it's such a long way. 

That struck two. 

and once, Alice asked "So you weren't okay this whole time? Why didn't you tell me?"

He said "I lied because I didn't want you worried." 

That struck three. 

It's like catching a bird, checking it out and then keep it while watching another bird flying around better than the one that's caught. Just because you're tired out after chasing the first bird. I feel sorry for that first bird. So easy and disappointing. 

It's almost like "oh, I'll make do with whatever I have now." What about me being just two states away from you? You sigh and whine and makes me feel I don't worth the trip. I don't worth your time and while. I don't worth your efforts. And how about tiny white lies? That'll tarnish my trust and put you back to the last line of people I loathe. That's just sickening. 

I want to be your crown jewel. Not your substitute jade. I want to be chased and never wait. I want to be someone you'd want to lean on in hard times. How is this working for you?

That's what's been running through Alice's mind like a broken record.


Tip of the iceberg. That's all it takes to bring it crashing down into the ocean. Disappear as the whole chunk gets drowned by the cold.

  

What a waste. 

196 days ago.

That was the time Alice thought the final piece of the puzzle finally made its way back to the incomplete jigsaw.

That was the time when it all made sense.

That was the time when nothing seems to be wrong.

That was the time when her prayers included his name.

To ensure whatever they have remains.

To ensure it doesn't just stay forever.

But longer.








That was 196 days ago.

And today, Alice realized that his name is still in her prayer each time.

Shrew

If you have a problem with me, tell it to my face! You don't even have the will to come see me, kau nak cakap banyak. Aku tak cari kau, kau ada nak datang cari aku? Ada?!



Childish, bitch. 

P/s: Depan orang muka macam ni :D padahal dalam hati >:( 

Subtle and Adequate

UPSI hosted the 6th Indoor Hockey Championship where teams all over Malaysia came around and fought for a place. Also, teams from Indonesia (STEI, UNJ, SMA98) and Thailand (Saraburi). Awesome awesome. It was just like an International Understanding err. . .Week? This is where I enter the picture. This time around, I got myself involved in being a Liaison Officer. Semua Romie punya pasal. Thanks, bro. I'm really glad to be involved.

To be honest, I never paid any attention to any kind of sports. Only to cheerleading. So, that was the first time I watched the game, learned the rules and saw how accident prone the players are. The sticks look dang dangerous. Tsk tsk tsk. I can't imagine how my petite mum played hockey when she was in school.

Anywho, I should just let the pictures do the talking from here onwards. Enjoy. ♥

-Pic Removed-

This is the team from Indonesian College of Economics, Jakarta. Hafiz and I, are their LOs. 

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Lagi 5 LO gagal dikesan. 

Comel kan diorang? 

Ini masa malam perasmian. 

STEI (Sekolah Tinggi Ekonomi Indonesia) in action. 

Team SMA 98 from Jakarta as well. 

That's Romie and his anak jagaan.

U-Mobile?? oh tidak.

Adik, beratur sebaris ye. Terima kasih. . .

Fie, jangan la nangis orang tak dengar cakap.

Tengok, kanak2 duduk diam2 dalam barisan. Bagus je.

Ni apa ni? Siapa la yang atur diorang ni. Haihh. 

Ya ampun. -_- 

Medal and mock cheque bearers. 

-Pic Removed-

Ehem.

Prize giving ceremony.

Seriously, team paling hot masa championship ni.

-Pic Removed-

♥

Tengok! Semua orang nak bergambar. Rebut2. 

-Pic Removed-

Awwhhh budak paling kenit main hoki! Stick lagi tinggi dari dia kot?

Post-hockey activity. Jyeaah. Jalan2 yuk! 

KL!

-Pic Removed-

Subuh adam dah bangun, the teams are ready to get back to Jakarta.

Pagii!

Dia ni ada emas dalam mulut. 

Sani, the hottest goalie.

Semangat kekitaan sangat kuat. Teams yang participated, UPSIan. Seriously, it inflicted more patriotism in me. I'm a proud Malaysian and UPSIan. Jyeahhh!

The thing that I liked the most is when I clicked right there and there with the girls, which, doesn't happen often. I don't click. Seriously.

and

The thing that I hated the most is when it was time to say goodbye. I HATE goodbyes.

It's really nice to get to know you people. The TESL seniors, sports centre's staffs, the whole urusetia gang, the teams that took part. I can't describe everything in writing neither can I edit and paste the video in my head. Thus, this.

I am really missing all that now.


Especially, the STEI girls - Yessy, Essoy, Ditha, Wulan, Suci, Ria, Deening, Sani as well as Desya and Rizki.



♥

Pepper Spray

Nothing comes easy. Like seriously. If you want something, you have to put all of your efforts to ensure that something is wholly yours. There's no such crap as "Oh, I'll get it somehow" and then slack off doing nothing.

No, Sir! It's never that way. It's ALWAYS pay off from your sweat OR tiba-tiba rezeki jatuh dari langit.

Hotak kau.

Nak A, buat cara macam nak A.


*This is a note to self.

Candles rekindled.

I never asked for much for my birthday. Back when I lived with my maternal grandparents, all that I'd get for my birthday was a prayer over lunch. Just the time I got back from school. My grandfather would thank The Almighty for the day, praying for my health and happiness and my grandmother would cook something that I would really love. A dish usually.

Al-Fatihah for my late grandmother.

As I grow, I lived with my mother and step father, birthdays are never an occasion. It's just another day. Normal. Maybe once or twice they'll get a cake and I'll blow the candles with my elder sister. Her birthday is a week after mine.

I remembered my late father took the trouble to celebrate my birthday.

-Pic Removed-

Sg. Petani August '08

Al-Fatihah for my late father.

Yesterday, I expected nothing better. I'm just glad that I've lived another year, all thanks to His Mercifullness.
But I was wrong. I had a blast on my 21st birthday. No celebration but possible.

I thank you, Allah for letting me live another year. I thank you, my family for being there for me all the time. I thank you, my friends who remembered and took the time to wish and pray for me.

I thank You, because You matter.

Honouring Fate

There are times when you leave things behind. And there are times you get left behind.

Notice how things just fall into place? How we don't have to chase at times but to just wait for it to come back to you? Chasing for what you want but notice how things keep running away from you?

Wait. Be patient.

Because HE has it planned better than you do.



Take a listen.

Gem

Its not like its half past forgiveness when you can just look back and smile at your memories. Be it bitter or sweet.

Alice tries hard not to fall. No matter how hard she tries, she fails. And when she does, she gets some kind of disappointment.

Disappointment that is just so silly at times. How things could be so simple and yet the blow of at the end could knock her breath out of her.  How she look at a person as a friend and end up falling for him. How he could just shut her out and left her with no word, no explanation and then comes back like nothing happened.

Sickening is the word.

Understand this, she doesn't fall. SHE DOESN'T. but when she does, she means it.

And when you break her, she wont spend a second thinking about what you did.






Thanks for breaking her trust, breaking her heart. Just give her some space. Space to wrap her head around all of this. You're good at that, right?


Even our Prophet (PBUH) give forgiveness.

Joy!

Around the end of May, I participated the Dentyne Terrar-Oke Contest in becoming a internet sensation. It was almost like luck (yet again) was with me. They had participants to audition just by submitting videos to them or have live auditions at selected places. I chose the video submission one. I submitted a few videos as there were no limits and all of them was through to the next level.

The next thing I know, I received a call telling me that I was in Top 70. I was required to submit my first assignments to them that weekend. I had precisely 5 days.

Alas, the next day I was due in Singapore. Holiday with my parents. oh, and for 4 days. :) Fantastic eh?

The first task was to fulfill the challenge video. Dentyne asked to change the lyrics of any song of my choice and be creative. I was allowed to use music but no minus one allowed, video effects, backup talents and such.

But I had no time!!! My lyrics were done on the way to Singapore, in the car! I have no access to a piano or a silly keyboard at least, no internet for starters! My frustrations were at its peak that time. Oh, my parents weren't the best supporters as well. NICE.

The second task was to create a video of me singing anything. So that's two videos.

The videos were supposed to be submitted by 5pm 5th of June and I reached home, at 4pm that same day. One hour, two videos and no idea how.

This was my lyrics


Just When
Just when fates seem so dull and dim
Hopes pick up after me, just me
One step down, more to come

I'm not alone
One failure build me up somemore
Had chances but I let them go
It aint ever up to me

But then
My hopes shoot up, my heart beat fast
So fast
Dentyne called up
And I found out
That I am in Top 70

Oh Dentyne
Senyum ni tak lekang lagi
Cuti pun tak senang hati
Semangat nak record nyanyi

Dentyne buat my hopes shoot up
My heart beat so fast
Tried my very best
That's all my I guess
I really hope that you're impressed

Oh Dentyne
Senyum ni tak lekang lagi
Gigi ni memang macam ni<----
You kasi cantik lagi <----           Dah tak ada idea >.<


*Sing with this tune.

My second video, I just sang while playing the piano the song I'm familliar with, Menghitung Hari. That's it.

No, not going to show anyone the videos. Really low quality, I'm ashamed even to look at it myself.

Yes, I didn't make it pass Top 70.

No, I was not surprised.

Yes, It was fun.

oh and yes, I got the consolation prize. :)


Congratulations to Megat Zahrin the Champion of Terrar-Oke and the other four talented winners Keana Reinu, Shazz Rin, Nyna Zollkefli and Soong Mei Ling. Good job, guys! ;)

Tranquility

We'd only realise the things that break us are the things that we want most. The kind of things that would make our hopes shoots up so high that and the next minute we'd find ourselves to the utmost disappointed and deeply hurt.

Funny.

Because we can actually see it coming. And yet, we get surprised of the outcome.

All of this should bring out the best in some people and the worst in most.

No matter how hurt you are, never falter. Never show how weak you can get. Never show your tears to another being. Yes, it's okay to be sad and feel grief as well as have tears every now and then. But too much of it doesn't bring any good. Being all miserable and moping all the time doesn't help either. Never show how much of a loser you can be. True, that admitting faults and such shows nobility but too much of it doesn't fix anything.

I believe in having a balance. We all have our own strengths and weaknesses. But I also believe that . . .



























. . . . . . . . strength comes from the effort of overpowering weakness.

Shatters

Kalau benda bukan untuk kita, terang² Allah tunjuk bukan untuk kita.